Oslo in winter: 8 fun activities to keep you warm

Oslo may be one of the less explored Scandinavian capitals, but it’s more than worth a visit. The city is surrounded by water. This makes it a very pleasant place to be in summer, but a city trip to Oslo in winter can be just as fun. There are many museums, Christmas markets and a few surprising outdoor activities to keep you entertained. Trot Op! took a trip to Norway in December and did not regret that decision.

Call me a complete idiot, but I prefer going up north in the coldest months of winter. Short days, starry nights, logs crackling in the fireplace and a blanket of fresh snow under my feet: it’s all quite pleasant to me. I’ve visited all five Scandinavian countries, and by doing so I became a true expert in offensively stereotyping the local populace. Danes are just prettier Germans, Finns and Icelanders are binge drinkers who look like a cross between an Elf and a Hobbit and Swedes are very pretty but maybe slightly boring. Norwegians were the only ones I wasn’t very familiar with, and Oslo was an unknown destination to me as well. I had no idea what to expect of the city, and whether there was actually much to do or see.

 

Oslo in winter: 8 fun activities to keep you warm

When last December I got invited to pay the Norwegian capital a professional visit – I write for actual magazines you know, I have a real job – it felt like the perfect opportunity to remove another blank spot from my travel map. I’d be there on the weekend of the Nobel Peace Prize festivities, which meant lots of people, lots of events and lots of happy faces around. Oslo turned out to be a lively city, with leafy parks, warm people and beautiful panoramas. The Christmas markets were already open, and to top it all off the first snow of the season had just fallen as well. But what can you actually do in Oslo on a cold winter day? A lot, apparently. These eight things for example.

 

1. Watch someone break a leg on top of the Oslo Opera House

The new Oslo Opera House was officially opened in 2008 and is still the city’s most stunning contemporary building. It’s a huge structure of white marble and glass, and it seems to rise from the water like an iceberg. Its clever design allows everyone to walk straight up the roof from the waterside. In summer this is great, but take care in winter. Especially when – after a sunny day – the melting snow on the roof starts freezing again. Norwegians are not bothered at all by something as trivial as a patch of ice. That’s because they’re a crafty bunch, who pull elastic bands with steel studs over their shoes. Dumb tourists from countries brought to the brink of complete economic collapse after half an inch of snowfall however, don’t know about gadgets like these and are unwittingly risking their lives on top of the opera.

“Oslo’s new opera house was officially opened in 2008 and is still the city’s most stunning contemporary building. Its clever design allows anyone to just stroll right onto the roof from the waterside.”

This insight sadly only came to me after a painful tumble left me sliding back down on my belly, shamed and defeated. I wasn’t the only one struggling to stay upright by the way. The bottom of the Oslofjord must be full of city trippers who – camera straps still around their necks and with a look of complete surprise on their frozen faces – once slipped from the roof and now rest in the murky darkness of the deep.  Consider yourself warned. Get a pair of fancy steel studded rubber bands (brodder in Norwegian), pick a nice viewing spot and enjoy the unfolding spectacle/carnage.

 

2. Misfornøyelsesbar: visit the official worst bar in the world

Most pub owners try – a bunch of Antwerp innkeepers apparently didn’t get the memo – to make sure the time people spend in their establishment is reasonably pleasant. This is mostly done because the commonly accepted purpose of going to a bar is essentially to have a bit of fun while you ease your troubled mind. One particular pub in Oslo however, doesn’t care about flowery nonsense like this. Misfornøyelsesbar – in English: The Bemusement Bar of Discontent – was specifically designed to make its clients as miserable as possible. In the 19th century, the building was used as a forced labour camp for mental patients who showed antisocial or promiscuous – hey that’s me – behaviour. The current owner saw this history as a fun source of inspiration, and went to work with a couple of local artists. The result is a bar where every room was redecorated in the light of a mental illness: from paranoia to schizophrenia.

“Misfornøyelsesbar is a bar specifically designed to give you the most miserable experience possible.”

Everywhere dozens of eyes are staring at you, everything from the floor to the ceiling is painted full of psychedelic imagery, the toilets are dark enough to be practically unusable, the chairs are small and uncomfortable and your glass will be poured just half full by a grumpy barkeep. Someone ending up here unexpectedly is going to have a bad time, but I found it rather fascinating. The only thing actually unpleasant was having to get a bank loan in order to pay for my drinks. Nordic beer is expensive y’all.

PS: While updating this article, I found out Misfornøyelsesbar – how ironic – unfortunately had to close down for the time being. Because I really liked the concept, I’ll keep it in here for a while longer.

 

3. The Vigeland Park: baby-kicking statues and other beautiful stuff

As far as I’m concerned, Vigeland Park is the most beautiful park in Oslo, and should be one of the highlights of every visit to the city. More than 200 statues are on display here, and they’re all made by the same artist: Norwegian sculptor Gustav Vigeland. In between the two World Wars, the man spent more than 20 years finishing this masterpiece. The end result is magnificent. Vigeland stunningly visualises human emotions, relationships and the fleeting nature of life. Some of his sculptures are emotional, others are provocative, and a couple are simply hilarious. The statue of a stark naked man furiously fighting off four newborn babies – kicking one of them like it was a football – is without a doubt in my mind the greatest piece of art ever made. Go to hell Michelangelo, with your stupid David and his micro penis. It’s childish mediocrity compared to this epic, majestic, naked, baby-kicking god. It’s heavenly. It’s out of this world. It’s goddamn perfect. If I had the money, I’d commission a gigantic copy and replace the Eiffel tower with it.  SUPERB. SCULPTURE.

 

4. Museums in Oslo: visit Munch’s The Scream or a real Viking Ship

Oslo has a lot more culture on offer besides Vigeland Park, and is a top destination for museum goers. The National Museum for example, was housed in a brand new building since my visit, and is home to Edvard Munch’s The Scream. A painting as famous as the Mona Lisa, but in Oslo there will be far less tourists standing in your way, so you can actually go and see it up close. Another great venue is the Viking Ship Museum located on a peninsula on the outskirts of the downtown. There are three almost perfectly preserved Viking ships on display here, and a 3D projection on the walls makes you feel like you’re on one of their epic journeys. On the same peninsula you can admire another ship. The Fram Museum was built around the original icebreaker that was used for the first real polar expeditions in the early 20th century. The ship is made almost entirely out of wood and strangely enough looks as good as new. Vigeland’s brother was a painter, and has his own mausoleum in Oslo which he decorated himself – before actually dying that is. It’s called the Emanuel Vigeland Museum, and it’s so dark in the tomb you need a flashlight to see the frescoes on the ceiling. Somewhat eerie but memorable experience.

 

5. Celebrate the Nobel Peace Prize in Oslo

When I was invited to Oslo in December of 2019, the Nobel Peace Prize festivities were in full swing. A peace concert was held in front of the beautiful city hall, and in the evening thousands of people walked through the streets with torches in hand during the annual Torch Walk of Peace: impressive activity to be part of and the perfect excuse to book a city trip to Oslo. You can visit the Nobel Peace Center all year round and learn about every past winner. On my visit, the two new laureates were actually part of the festivities: Nadia Murad – a young Yazidi woman who had escaped the clutches of ISIS after months of abuse – and Denis Mukwege – a Congolese surgeon who operated on thousands of victims of sexual abuse and mutilation. Two courageous souls who deserve admiration and respect. An extensive photo exhibition on the works of both of them was exhibited in the museum, and the images left a deep impression.

 

6. Eat a moose burger on the Oslo Christmas Market

Christmas markets are not really my thing. In my opinion, they’re no more than slightly colder country fairs, and country fairs are definitely not my thing. This is because they usually turn out to be an opportunity for the biggest losers in the village to get piss-drunk and then, with tears in their glassy eyes, start another public marital fight over nothing. However, I’m happy to make an exception for Christmas markets abroad. It is always nice to see the subtle differences with the ones we have at home.

“I’m not the biggest fan of Christmas markets, but I’m happy to make an exception for the ones abroad. It’s always nice to see the subtle differences with the markets in Belgium.”

Happily whistling Jingle Bells, I started for the big market around the Spikersuppa ice skating rink close to the Royal Palace. ‘Seven bucks for a cup of mulled wine? Not bad for Oslo’, I thought, as I broke into a fine rendition of White Christmas to top off the previous song. It was only then I realised they’d dared to give me a non-alcoholic drink. There would be no more whistling that day. A good bit tastier than warm, expensive grape juice, were the local specialties I could try all over the place. I didn’t find any whale – and I wouldn’t have eaten it anyway – but I discovered a stall selling moose burgers instead. ‘Have to try one’, I thought, and so I did. For everyone not into having a piece of Rudolph’s big brother for Christmas: a moose burger tastes almost exactly like any other burger in existence. So unless you have a personal feud with the world’s largest species of deer, there’s no need to try for yourself anymore now. You’re welcome!

 

7. SALT Oslo: watch a movie in the sauna

Oslo is a wonderful city for walking. The waterside between the castle and the opera is a particularly nice stretch to explore. On it, you’ll find Vippa: an old warehouse covered in graffiti, where a whole bunch of food trucks sell street food from all over the world. A little further, across from the opera, there’s a raft made of recycled material floating in the docks. There’s a makeshift sauna on it you can book with eleven of your friends, and when you’re done sweating you can jump straight into the Oslofjord to cool down. Regular old sauna too boring for you? Get yourself to SALT then. This is a temporary art project where concerts and parties are held. Their most spectacular installation however, is a sauna that can accommodate up to 80 people, who can then all watch a movie on a cinema screen together. Watching The Day After Tomorrow or Alive! while the sweat is pouring off your brow sounds like a total treat. Don’t forget your bathing suit though. SALT is all ages allowed, so behave and keep your stuff covered. We’re not in Finland here.

 

8. The Holmekollen Ski Jump: jump into the abyss with a rope around your waist

Looking for something adventurous for your weekend in Oslo? Head to Holmekollen – a large hill right next to the city. You’ll be in the middle of nature there. Many locals come here for hiking or cross-country skiing, but the biggest attraction is the Holmekollen Ski Jump, which is used for official competitions. Of course, you can’t just jump off of it – pretty fatal if you don’t know what you’re doing – but you can whiz down the entire ramp on a zip line during summer. This is not allowed in winter season, when the ramp is exclusively used by professionals skiers. If you’re willing to spend some money on it, you can try out another option though. On my press trip, I was given the opportunity rappel all the way down from the back of the structure. This turned out to be pretty intense, because you don’t go down against a wall or a rock, but just dangle in thin air for sixty meters. One of the other journalists got stuck at a height of about forty meters, burst into tears hysterically and had to be rescued with a second rope by one of the instructors. A pleasant afternoon all in all.

There. Eight tips for a wintery weekend in Oslo. Want to add a couple of things? Any questions or thoughts on my ramblings? Finnish or Icelandic and furious because I just called you an Ed Sheeran looking alcoholic? Well suck it up, cry-baby! I’m not changing a single word! Are you on the other hand Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, the Icelandic giant who plays The Mountain in Game of Thrones? Then accept my humble apologies right now kind sir, I’ll change it straight away. Please don’t crush my head like a melon. In any case: the comment section is below. Use it.

Looking for some other trips? Check out my articles on Interlaken, Singapore, Aruba, Noordwijk, Duisburg, Scotland or Croatia.